I have finally wrote the words I didn’t dare think. “I love you.” “I need you.” “HELP!” I have tried so damned hard not to feel any of those things. The only emotion I’d admit to was love because there’s no way I can deny it. But need? No, that was too risky given our past. Then, when the dam burst, I couldn’t be noble or unselfish anymore. On top of that, I finally posted on FB that I was going to do my best to get out of this house by Dec. 31 and probably move to the only other place I’ve ever felt at home, the city of my alma mater. I’d also probably figure out how to get the Master’s it would be better than not to have for another project.
More memories both good and not so good.
I’m tired of hiding from myself and I did a rash, impulsive thing by telling the basest truth. I doubt anything will come of it, but at least I’ll know I’ve done everything I can to deal with far too much loss in a short time.