Tag Archives: miranda lambert

Country music: Living vicariously

I’ve had Music Choice’s “Today’s Country” playing in the background as I do chores. I’ve wanted to point out a couple of really great songs through which to live vicariously for a bit now. Men, no offense, but these have to do with women pissed all to hell by men. I’m very sure there are plenty of love and break-up songs by men. In fact, I know there are. But back to these two.

The first, “Mama’s Broken Heart,” is from Miranda Lambert’s LP Four. It’s about a woman who, reasons unexplained, is dumped by her boyfriend and kind of loses it. When I first heard it, I laughed really hard because it reminded me of someone I know really–ME! The woman in the song is apparently in a small town because people start calling her mother who then calls her and tells her to “Hide your crazy.” I swear to God, that is something my mother and my old (i.e. 60 years and older) cousins would say. I’m no push over and they don’t get it.

Here are the lyrics:

“Mama’s Broken Heart”

I cut my bangs with some rusty kitchen scissors
I screamed his name ‘til the neighbors called the cops
I numbed the pain at the expense of my liver
Don’t know what I did next all I know, I couldn’t stop

Word got around to the barflies and the baptists
My mama’s phone started ringin’ off the hook
I can hear her now sayin’ she ain’t gonna have it
Don’t matter how you feel, it only matters how you look

Go and fix your make up, girl, it’s just a break up
Run and hide your crazy and start actin’ like a lady
‘Cause I raised you better, gotta keep it together
Even when you fall apart
But this ain’t my mama’s broken heart

I wish I could be just a little less dramatic
Like a Kennedy when Camelot went down in flames
Leave it to me to be holdin’ the matches
When the fire trucks show up and there’s nobody else to blame

Can’t get revenge and keep a spotless reputation
Sometimes revenge is a choice you gotta make
My mama came from a softer generation
Where you get a grip and bite your lip just to save a little face

Go and fix your make up, girl, it’s just a break up
Run and hide your crazy and start actin’ like a lady
‘Cause I raised you better, gotta keep it together
Even when you fall apart
But this ain’t my mama’s broken heart

Powder your nose, paint your toes
Line your lips and keep ’em closed
Cross your legs, dot your I’s
And never let ’em see you cry

Go and fix your make up, well it’s just a break up
Run and hide your crazy and start actin’ like a lady
‘Cause I raised you better, gotta keep it together
Even when you fall apart
But this ain’t my mama’s broken heart

The second song is from Carrie Underwood’s LP Blown Away and is called “Two Black Cadillacs.” I haven’t purchased the entire Lambert LP but I do have Blown Away. Even so, this song didn’t jump out at me initially. Then, I heard it on radio. I had to listen to it a couple of times before I got it. Then I thought to myself, “Uh huh. It doesn’t matter whether you’re black or white. If a man does TWO women wrong, he needs to pray they never team up.” The guy in this song didn’t pray hard enough because he ends up in the ground after one woman finds out about the other. The second one didn’t know about the first, either. I’ll leave the synopsis there and just let you read the words. I love it! It is because of songs like this that country music is the fastest growing genre in the music industry.

“Two Black Cadillacs”

Two black Cadillacs driving in a slow parade
Headlights shining bright in the middle of the day
One is for his wife,
The other for the woman who loved him at night
Two black Cadillacs meeting for the first time

[Chorus:]
And the preacher said he was a good man
And his brother said he was a good friend
But the women in the two black veils didn’t bother to cry
Bye, Bye Bye, Bye
Yeah they took turns laying a rose down
Threw a handful of dirt into the deep ground
He’s not the only one who had a secret to hide
Bye bye, bye bye, bye Bye

Two black Cadillacs, two black Cadillacs

Two months ago his wife called the number on his phone
Turns out he’d been lying to both of them for oh so long
They decided then he’d never get away with doing this to them
Two black Cadillacs waiting for the right time, right time

[Chorus:]
And the preacher said he was a good man
And his brother said he was a good friend
But the women in the two black veils didn’t bother to cry
Bye bye, Bye bye
Yeah they took turns laying a rose down
Threw a handful of dirt into the deep ground
He’s not the only one who had a secret to hide
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Yeah yeah

[Bridge:]
It was the first and the last time they saw each other face to face
They shared a crimson smile and just walked away
And left the secret at the grave

[Chorus:]
And the preacher said he was a good man
And his brother said he was a good friend
But the women in the two black veils they didn’t bother to cry
Bye bye, Bye bye
Yeah they took turns laying a rose down
Threw a handful of dirt into the deep ground
He’s not the only one who had a secret to hide
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

C.A.B.

I woke up around 3 a.m. and the first thought I had was, “I’m a Crazy-Ass Bitch,” and kinda smiled. For those of you who have been following this season of I Can’t Quit You, the former keeper of my affections, Glenn, pulled the great mindfuck on me a few years ago after being my lover for 17 years. At the time, we hadn’t been in contact in nine years since he freaked out about my sexual orientation which, at that point, did not involve sleeping with men. (If you’d like to know precisely what he did, then click on the “glenn” Category.) Helped along by a very bad reaction to one of the benzodiazopines, his non-consensual sadism put me in ICU for three or four days, followed by a psych ward on a three-day hold. There is so much more to the story, but it’s all rather irrelevant now. The point is, I must have been dreaming about him because I heard his voice call me a “Crazy-Ass Bitch.” It made me smirk in a particularly devilish way. It still does as I’m writing this. I wouldn’t have found it amusing until that moment because I was mourning and seeking answers. I was deep into the deep dark pit of my soul looking for some way to make sense of what he, and probably a friend of his, had done. I still can’t grasp the enormous cruelty on any “normal” level because what they did was abnormal. Right or wrong, since Glenn wasn’t talking or writing except to say that he’d kill me if I went anywhere near his family, which was not even on the table, (too many viewings of Fatal Attraction I suppose), I had to come up with my own answers.

I’ve also been listening to the loop inside my head from a conversation I had with my lawyer/friend/ex-Top, Karen, who pointed out that Glenn really wasn’t that great of a catch to begin with. Certainly, on several levels, she’s absolutely right. However, when things were good and held the promise of being even better, yes, he was worth it. That’s the person I loved and will always love, and; that’s the person I have mourned. The current incarnation of Glenn is an abusive sociopath/narcissist in my eyes. Be aware that I can only provide my own point of view and a lay person’s reading of symptoms from the DSM-IV because my medical degree was lost in the mail from Granada.

My shrink and I talked about him for a bit. I told her I’ve tried to find a way out of my obsession with the “why” part of the whole, sordid mess and with him altogether. She said that I shouldn’t even acknowledge the thought, but when I do find myself thinking about him, just wave it away. Strangely enough, it’s kind of worked. I didn’t expect it to, but it did.

I think I like being a Crazy-Ass Bitch. I don’t normally condone the use of “bitch” when referring to humans, but in this case, it’s a statement that I choose to reclaim. Where Glenn would view a C.A.B. as a woman unworthy of his time and energy while being annoyed that the woman has taken up his time and energy, I see the term as empowering in this instance. After what he’s put me through, hell, he should be glad I’m 500 miles away from him because you never know what a C.A.B. will do. I have visions of Miranda Lambert and Jazmine Sullivan when I think of the appellation. It means strength, forthrightness, perseverance in the face of obstacles and a deep dish of mischief. Nevertheless, even though C.A.B.’s are strong women, we can be very vulnerable. In fact, I’d say that the reason there are C.A.B.’s in this world it’s because we’ve previously opened ourselves to love and had our hearts break into a million and one pieces. When we finally do catch our breath, it is then that the “crazy” comes out. For me, it was continuing to refuse the acceptance of silence when I ask Glenn “Why?” That is the very least he could give me.

A little voice inside won’t shut the fuck up, though. I think it is influenced by my wish that Glenn would still be the man I loved for so very, very long and my mother’s belief that, eventually, we’ll find a way back to each other even though she didn’t particularly like him. It’s the same voice that says, “Maybe he was trying to protect your feelings because he wasn’t attracted to you anymore.” That would make Glenn semi-noble, but it flies in the face of reason informed by his actions. Hence, I’ll go with Miranda Lambert and Jazmine Sullivan.

Little voice aside, I’ve accepted that I love both the dark and the light sides of the Glenn I knew. You don’t spend 17 years of your life not loving someone in some fashion. I was so naive to the point of stupidity then. I should have realized that he loved me back then, even if the words weren’t forthcoming. I can’t blame myself completely because it was his responsibility to tell me. It’s all pointless now. That Glenn is no more. Glenn 2.0 is not someone I want to think about. However, I do like the thought that he’s probably called me a “crazy ass bitch” dozens of times even though he can’t manage to tell me why he did what he (and another) did to me. As far as I’m concerned, he’s less than the man that was. It is he that is not worth my time and energy.